Friday, June 15, 2012

All the Children


Children's Week has been one holiday that has stuck to its roots and while, with each expansion, they've added in more questlines and new pets, the basic formula has not changed in the slightest. As such, this is an almost verbatim blog from last year's version of this holiday.

Since this holiday has been around for a long enough time that the most dedicated and/or bored players will already have all of the companion pets availability, and also since Mists of Pandaria is still in Beta, something new had to be added to keep people coming back for the global escort quests. Magical Pet Biscuits was the answer. Think of the TCG loot item, Papa Hummel's Old-Fashioned Pet Biscuit, and you have this item. TCG loot-whores are crying worldwide.
  1. Cruisin' The Chasm: Your little human orphan wants you to take him down to Westfall, hop into one of the lovely rental choppers, and take a cruise over to the gigantic chasm with a huge tornado inside of it. Why we, as wardens, thought this would be a good idea, is beyond me. The kid has a good time, no one is dead, he's happy.
  2. Malfurion Has Returned!: Take your orphan over to Darnassus and introduce him to the legendary druid himself, Malfurion Stormrage. Ol' Malfy will even throw an enchantment on the fella to give him wings for a bit.
  3. The Biggest Diamond Ever!: If you've read the Warcraft novel 'The Shattering,' then you know what happens to poor Magni Bronzebeard. Your orphan wants to see him. Head on over to Ironforge and go to the throne room. That door that's always been closed is now open and you can head down into Old Ironforge to see Magni.
  4. You Scream, I Scream...: Head over to the Mage Quarter of Stormwind. Near the Blue Recluse inn, there is a small ice cream stand. Purchase a  Cone of Cold  ice cream cone and hand it over to your little orphan.
  5. Let's Go Fly A Kite: There is a gnome pushing a small cart around the outside of the Trade District. Stop him and purchase a Dragon Kite 2-Pack set. Fly the kites with your orphan for a bit.
  6. A Warden Of The Alliance: Purchase a Foam Sword Rack from the traveling gnome toy salesmen and return to the orphan matron. Turn in the rack, the orphans will snatch them up and start playing. The matron offers you your reward..
  1. Ridin' The Rocketway: Your new orc orphan wants to go to the new Goblin Rocketway, so that's where you're headed. Head on over to Azshara and ascend the Southern Rocketway Terminus. Board the Redhound Two-Seater Prototype and take a trip down (up) the rocketway in style.
  2. The Banshee Queen: Time to head to the Tirisfal Glades and ascend into the Undercity to meet the matriarch of the Forsaken, Sylvanas Windrunner. Apparently the blood elf ambassador gets a little pissy that your orphan is speaking to the Queen of the Dead herself.
  3. The Fallen Chieftain: Just like the Alliance version to go see Magni, in 'The Shattering,' Cairne Bloodhoof challenges Garrosh Hellscream to a duel to the death. Magatha of the Grimtotem tribe poisons Garrosh's Gorehowl and a small cut cripples Cairne and Garrosh finishes him off.
  4. You Scream, I Scream...: Head back to Orgrimmar and head down to the Goblin Slums section of town. Find the Cone of Cold shop and purchase a Cone of Cold ice cream cone for your orphan. Let him get a brain freeze and then move on to the next quest.
  5. Let's Go Fly A Kite: Much like the Alliance version, you have to find someone pushing a toy cart. This time, you're looking for a goblin on the outside of the Drag. Purchase the Dragon Kite 2-Pack set and set them aloft with your orphan. After playing with them for some time, it's time to send them back to the orphanage.
  6. A Warden Of The Horde: Pick up a  Foam Sword Rack  from the goblin toy vendor and head back to the orphan matron. Let the kids play around with their foam swords and then pick up your new companion, your 5 gold, or your awesome pet biscuits.
And with that, it's time to move on to the Shattrath City orphan quests. Again, split into both Alliance and Horde questlines.
  1. Auchindoun And The Ring Of Observance: Your little Draenei orphan wants to go to the Auchindoun, which is now the ruins of an old mausoleum for the Draenei people. Go see the Summoning Stone near the center and appease your orphan by trying to help them summon someone. 
  2. Jheel Is At Aeris Landing!: Apparently our little orphan has a sibling who is working with the Ethereals over at the Aeris Landing in Nagrand. So that's where we're going. When arriving, they chat for a bit and your quest completion is after you talk to Jheel.
  3. A Trip To The Dark Portal: Since your orphan is a Draenei, they've never seen the Dark Portal before. Time to head over that way and check it out. You have to land on the very top platform at the Dark Portal for your orphan to run up amazed at the sight.
  4. The Seat Of The Naaru: Despite being a Draenei, they've never seen the Exodar. Time to take your little orphan down to the new Draenei capital city on Azeroth and have a talk with O'ros down at the bottom of the middle section of the Exodar. He'll tell you to go talk to Farseer Nobundo.
  5. Time To Visit The Caverns: Quickest way to get here is to get a portal to Dalaran opened up by a friendly mage and take the free portal in the Violet Citadel. If you take the free dragon ride, you'll land opposite of the center of where you need to go. Go meet up with the big bronze dragon. After the little run-in, head back up the tunnel a bit and talk to the Keepers of Time quartermaster to get your Toy Dragon for your orphan. With toy in hand, it's time to return to the matron.
  6. Back To The Orphanage: Head back to Shattrath the quickest way you know how. Either a mage friend or flying your ass through the Dark Portal. Upon getting back to the matron, you'll get your choice of four pets or.. biscuits!
  1. Hch'uu Of The Mushroom People: After picking up your new little Blood Elf companion, it's time to head over to Zangarmarsh and meet up with your orphan's long, lost friend of the Sporeggar people; Hch'uu. Who apparently ran away from a fungal giant and got lost, which is why she was in the Shattrath orphanage.
  2. Visit The Throne Of The Elements: After the reminiscing is over with, it's time to make your way over to Nagrand and drop in on the Elementals of the Throne. Let the orphan have a wide-eyed gander at all of the large-sized Elementals before talking to one of the Earthen Ring.
  3. A Trip To The Dark Portal: Finishing up on the Throne of the Elements makes your orphan want to take a peak at another oversized site; the Dark Portal that leads to Azeroth. Land up on the platform and let your orphan get an eyeful of the object that spans two planets and connects them together.
  4. Now, When I Grow Up...: Unlike the Draenei orphan that is destined to become a powerful shaman of her people, your Blood Elf has a less significant goal in life.. to become part of the Elite Tauren Chieftains rock band. Head over to the Blood Elf capital of Silvermoon City to wave at the band members.
  5. Time To Visit The Caverns: Find a quick way to get to Dalaran, so you can steal the free portal down to the Caverns of Time. Either fly your way down when you get there and pick up the  Toy Dragon  from the quartermaster on the way down, or take the free flight from the dragon at the top. Either way, go see the big bronze dragon and get your toy dragon. With all that finished, it's time to head back to Shattrath City.
  6. Back To The Orphanage: Head back to Shattrath the quickest way you know how. Either a mage friend or flying your ass through the Dark Portal. Upon getting back to the matron, you'll get your choice of four pets or.. biscuits!
Not that it matters the order in which you complete the questlines involved with either faction's orphan quests.. You can now head to Dalaran and pick up one of two quests for one more Children's Week pet. Depending on which questline you complete, depends on the pet that you receive.
  1. Little Orphan Roo Of The Oracles: Talk to the matron standing near the floating statue by the southern bank and select this option to start the quest to get the Gorloc pet.
  2. The Biggest Tree Ever!: Grab the little Oracles orphan and make your way over to the Grizzly Hills. You're going to be going to Grizzlemaw, the home of the furbolgs. You have to go down to the very bottom of the tree, where there is small tree growing.
  3. The Bronze Dragonshrine: After escaping the furbolgs, it's time to head over to the Bronze Dragonshrine in Dragonblight. Much like when, or if, you did the quests for Chromie at the Wyrmrest Temple, your little orphan here is going to see the future version of himself.
  4. Playmates!: Once he's done talking to himself, head on over to the Borean Tundra and swing down to the Winterfin Retreat. Your orphan will meet up with a baby murloc and start dancing. Though how Bladestorming can be considered dancing, I'm not entirely sure..
  5. Meeting A Great One: Once your orphan is done making friends, it's time to go experience some Oracles culture. Go up into the Sholazar Basin and head through the Waygate by the Mosslight Pillar. Passing through this Waygate teleports you to the Un'goro Crater. Make your way up the little pathway and stop at the angry-looking construct.
  6. The Dragon Queen: Head back through the Waygate to get back to the Basin and make your way back down to Dragonblight. It's time to stop in at the Wyrmrest Temple. Your little orphan wants to meet the Life-Binder herself.
  7. A Trip To The Wonderworks: Time to head back to Dalaran, but before you go talk to the matron, your little buddy here wants to get some playtime in with you. Head over to the Wonderworks toy shop and buy the Small Paper Zeppelin. It's only available for purchase when you're actually on this quest. After you toss it back and forth, it's time to take him back to the matron.
  8. Back To The Orphanage: Head back over to the floating statue and return the Oracle back to the matron. You'll get the choice between money and biscuits, but you won't receive the pet until it comes in the mail. Logging out and back in should do it, or taking a portal somewhere else.
  1. Little Orphan Kekek Of The Wolvar: Talk to the matron standing near the floating statue by the southern bank and select this option to start the quest to get the Wolvar pet.
  2. Home Of The Bear-Men: Once you're got your feisty little devil with you, it's time to head over to the Grizzly Hills. You're going to be going to the home of the furbolgs, Grizzlemaw. You're going to have to go to the very bottom of the broken tree to where a small tree is growing.
  3. The Bronze Dragonshrine: Once that's over, it's time to head over to Dragonblight. You're going to be making a stop at the Bronze Dragonshrine for your little orphan to meet his future-self and have a little heart-to-heart.
  4. Playmates!: Since you're in Dragonblight still, you might as well wonder over to the Snowfall Glade and let your orphan pup play around with some other Wolvar pups. They throw snowballs at each other for a while.
  5. The Dragon Queen: Then it's time to head over to the Wyrmrest Temple, where your orphan wants to meet the mighty Alexstrasza. Krasus even talks to him for a bit.
  6. The Mighty Hemet Nesingwary: Once you're done meeting the Queen of the Red Dragonflight, it's time to head over to the Sholazar Basin and meet your orphans hunter idol. Head over to the Nesingwary Base Camp on the western side of the Basin, so your orphan can have a chat with Hemet Nesingwary.
  7. A Visit To The Wonderworks: Once he's gotten all of his meet-and-greets out of the way, it's time to head back to Dalaran. Before heading back to the matron, you need to make a quick stop in at the Wonderworks toy shop. Your Wolvar orphan wants to have a little playtime with you, by tossing back and forth some paper zeppelins. Make sure to pick-up the  Small Paper Zeppelin  that's only for purchase when you have this quest.
  8. Back To The Orphanage: After you're done playing, it's time to go back to the matron. Head over to the floating statue by the southern bank and return your Wolvar orphan. You'll get the choice between money and biscuits, but you won't receive the pet until it comes in the mail. Logging out and back in should do it, or taking a portal somewhere else.
And now that we've gone over ALL of the questlines, for both Alliance and Horde, it's time to look at getting those achievements. Hopefully you still have some time left after traversing multiple continents and separate worlds to get some of these in.

  • Daily Chores: Prove to your orphan that all heroes are really just glorified errand boys. Do a collective of 5 daily quests right in front of your orphan. Show him just how "epic" you are.
  • Aw, Isn't It Cute?: You've got three separate questlines.. Pick a pet. Any one of them. Pokemon Syndrome has now struck you. I'm also not going to list all of the possible companion pets that will net you this achievement. Just.. Seriously, just do one quest line for this holiday.
  • School of Hard Knocks: I hear more people gripe and complain about this single achievement alone than I have for the entirety of the fate of World of Warcraft after Cataclysm. It's not even difficult, even without the opposite side assisting.
    • Return a flag in Warsong Gulch - Simple. Be around the EFC when he goes down, spam tap your mouse button. Hope. More of a time race than any level of difficulty.
    • Assault a base in Arathi Basin - Instead of bum rushing Stables/Farm like everyone else will be, head to an outlying base to attempt the flag cap. It's infinitely easier.
    • Assault a tower in Alterac Valley - The most difficult one I can see of this entire achievement. ~39 other people fighting for towers for both the win and to get achievements. Every year I've found, at least, ONE Horde person assisting with completion of this one.
    • Capture a flag in Eye of the Storm - Difficult if the focus is on the flag caps. If you get into a decent EotS that isn't looking to be retarded, you can get this achievement AND a win out of it.
  • Hail To The King, Baby: Required level can kill your chances at the meta achievement. You're going to need to be at least level 75 to enter Utgarde Pinnacle on normal-mode, as Heroic is not required. All you have to do is kill him while you have your orphan out. Don't screw up and forget to summon your orphan before killing him, seriously.
  • Veteran Nanny: NOT REQUIRED FOR THE META. This a three year long achievement, as you have to complete the Shattrath quest line three separate times to collect all three of the pets; Peanut, Willy, and Egbert. This achievement was prior to the addition of Legs, so he isn't part of the requirements for its completion. Maybe it'll be changed for next year.
As usual, if you want a more in-depth view, head on over to Wowhead and take a gander at their yearly updated guide: Children's Week '12.

And now time for my own accomplishments..

Warrior: Matron of '09. Received Veteran Nanny in '11.

Paladin: Matron of '10. Received Veteran Nanny in '11.

Druid: Matron of '10. Peanut in '13 will net Veteran Nanny, unless Mists comes first.

Death Knight: Patron of '10. Egbert and Peanut left to collect for Veteran Nanny

Mage: Patron of '12. Egbert and Peanut left to collect for Veteran Nanny.

Rogue: Patron of '12. Egbert and Peanut left to collect for Veteran Nanny.

More pets next year or the Warrior and Paladin are out. With the release of Mists of Pandaria, Veteran Nanny will be awarded for all toons. Will I still collect the achievement on each toon personally? Probably, if it'll let me.

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